so long din blog over here...

was sad since ytd... realized my buddy lied to me AGAIN.. i am really very tired.. of noeing the truth from others, from elsewhere which i dun wanna noe at all. i rather not finding out that she hurt me again... y muz u lie to me? if u have difficulties in telling me the truth, den dun tell! i rather u dun tell than u keep lying.. and create more lies to cover the old ones! u r getting more and more fake.. we have been frens for more den 10yrs and this is wat i get? lol..

this morning, someone told me that others asking him to becareful of his words when talking to me... cos i am over sensitive.. ok, i did argued with 1 of them cos i felt tat her words are all accussing me. saying me childish when the topic we r talking abt is nuting to do with that and is all becos she got the wrong idea. saying i am out of the topic when i was actually in tat scenerio but she wasn't. but things are ok nw. we still chat, still meet up. until today.. wat i heard was really hurting when i was told it was OTHERS! meaning more den 1 person think tat talking to me is a hard task? my tears juz flow out like tat when he told me all these.. i tot we r close frens.. i tot they noe wat kind of person i am.. i tot? is juz all my assummings! am i really so sensitive? will it be better if i dun meet them anymore? at least if wun be so xin ku as they dun have to talk to me i guess? i dunno whu to turn to....i dun wanna login.. i dunno wat i can do nw.. can u tell me? where r u?

i feeling very luan.. temper getting very bad nwadays as thou i PMS everyday. finding troubles wif ppl, quarreling wif ppl, making ppl scared of me.. y am i doing all these??? guess i am juz too used to being wif someone, and having expectations.. feeling guilty nw.. i am sry, sry to tat person, sry to whuever consoled me, sry to ppl i offended..

guess i am stressed up, by boss, by maple commitments, by family.. but all these cant give me excuse to create problems rite? these few days cant slp, got to cry myself out til tired den slp.. nd to find other things to do in order for me to divert my attention towards maple..我很累，不知道我到底在想什么。。think we cant go back to last time.. everything has changed..is all my fault, again, i am sry..

Labels: 都是我不好，对不起

flying to china tmr morning, back on sun morning... with my engineer.. got to be alone at nite le! my colleagues keep telling me scary stories zzz

have been alone at hm since fri cos parents and korkor went genting and KL. fri went for lesson, mapling awhile and slp. sat went bukit panjang plaza to shop for jeans, and say bryan wong, jeff wong and chen hong yu.. think having CitiSpa competition ba. watch awhile and headed hm. bought breads for my sat nite and whole of sun cos i lazy to go buy food ;p washed my jeans and make the kitchen flooded =X whole day bz keeping in and out cos of the weather!

this morning stupid boss ask me go back office to print some documents to bring to china. actually, can get our china side to bring along de lor, but he wanted to have a meeting in airport before we depart zzz ytd make us go back office but he din come in stupid rite!! so i went back at 6plus, and something scary happened. was taking the lift up, but the door keep close halfway and open by itself. i pressed close but to no avail. den suddenly i saw the 'close' button lighted up by itself o.O (meaning 'someone' pressed it) cant recall tat the lift got this kind of function, and the buttons wun light up if no one press =.='' i kept calm and walk out of lift.. den the lights at corridor auto on when i come out frm lift lobby zzz scare me again.. so when i reached office, i keep the doors open.. but the stupid file cant be printed out and i took 1 hr to get it done!! and i keep looking ard when theres noise.. wah kao! eerie lah! called my fren din pick up, so i called my engineer to cfm the docs in case i missed out (oso to pei me talk lah =X) *shivers*

my flight is 1010am tmr but got to reach airport by 730! so leave hse abt 645, wake up at 6? haiz =( boss juz cant let us go peacefully....

started to miss my family and kakis le~~~~ sobs! i will bring my lappy there but dunno got internet anot T.T anyway take care guys, cya on sun!

doing nuting nw.. juz had a nap and nw stoning..

boss asked me to go china wif engineer for 1-2 weeks. but til nw haven cfm date. i booked my lessons till end nov le, and frm 1st oct, there will be no refund for cancellations regardless of how early u cancel.. stupid rite!!! wat kind of rules is tat?? and my 2nd, 3rd and 4th week of oct is flooded =( going first aid class, practical lessons, and going phuket.

my practical test is in dec, but.... i got no confident at all! nwadays felt stressed in mapling.. mapling is supposed to relieve stress but.. it is making us more stress! causing ppl to argue, quarrels...

back to stoning..

was feeling down since thurs nite..

my fren whom we have not been contacting for quite sometime called, when i was waiting for zak, to infrom tat J passed away on tat day. i stunned for a min and asked her the cause of death which she says she not sure but he took long leave, might be due to sickness..

we were together for 2yrs plus?? could not recall.. din really contact for the last 1yr plus... thou he did msn, call, sms me.. but i juz simply ignore..come to think of it, he din contact me for the past few mths. looked thru our fotos, all the memories came back.. thou he really hurted me, but there r still happy moments.. thanks to him tat i learned some things.. guess he stil din noe the reason behind our breakup ba.. till nw, it is still a mystery whether he really have a wife/another gf during tat period.. but, is not impt nw..

funny, wanted to go to the wake.. but i din noe where he live! cant find the info in newspaper either.. so, guess is fated =) happy advanced birthday to u... 8th sept

Labels: feeling lost.. thanx for all the happy and unhappy memories..

ok! din update my bloggy again! ahhhh i really seems to have not enuff time to blog but still i like the feeling of reading back the past posts to recall the happy memories, so.... got to update lor!

26jul - went suntec for the golden tix thingy. met da jie, da jiefu, roar, tam, wugui, moo, spdy, papa and mama. after getting tix, we went to food court for dinner, get teased by all of them including roar, ok nvm, got lotz of chance to revenge =D after tat went Ben & Jerry for ice cream, dunno whu started to idea of 2 person sharing 1 ice cream, so without further questions, me and mr roar got to share a sundae (err his taste... hai hao lor =X) anyway we behave much more da fang den moo and spdy wahahahaha~

29jul - event day, spend dunno how long queuing, lunched at carl's jr and went kbox with da jie, da jiefu, moo, wugui and spdy.

inbetween - cant rem wat i did.. as usual..

juz nw, suppose to meet wanton, da jie, jiefu, roar and ying for pepper lunch but WANTON PUT AEROPLANE ON ME!!! heng i am not alone at city hall! met roar 5pm at dover as i on half day to take my first practical lesson. haiz dun talk abt it, so the malu T.T reach city hall abt 530, sat at coffee and toast to chat till 730! me and roar chat for 2hrs till i dam hungry can! they finally reached, and we went suntec for pepper lunch, shop ard den go marina sq for pool and went hm =)

Labels: shld i go FIR concert???????

hi again~ more den 1mth nv post le.. being quite bz (dunno wif wat oso =.='')

so roughly update abit lah k?

got my ds lite le~ ty ty to U~ u noe whu u r ;p but only got cooking mama for the time being =X

went genting wif wisers last sat - mon, hmm 1st day spend some time in rooms chatting as we met up wif our msia wisers as well, den went to casino play jackpot and ktv, 2nd day rot in room to watch show and play cards and go theme park (and i got bruises T.T) lastly went to watch hulk @ 1.45am (which i only managed to watch the last 5mins as i slp all the way~omg!!) 3rd day went shopping and buy snacks hm lor.. tats all for the trip.. haha quite short ba? *lazy lazy*

pls c fotos as attached =D
http://www.flickr.com/photos/27730408@N02/

fri went ktv @ international building wif AAC. norm booked a rm for 18ppl but end up only 13 attended. so lang fei lor the room so big, and we got to pay more cos of those tat ppk (be pilot) actually not ez to organize outing for big grps tats y normally i am the 'follower' cos i dun like to plan =X oh ya, thx to muami (and dunno whu else) for the surprise and oreo cheesecake =D

juz nw went for bday celebration.. went to have laksa steamboat, chill out at keppel bay and watched Get Smart. dam funny show sia~den went mt faber to feed cats

btw, these 2 days keep nose bleed, ytd bleed while talking to AAC at cine, den juz nw bleed at vivo + mt faber

pray pray tmr dun bleed le, anyway my tmr's plan not cfm yet~not much bday mood ZZZ

juz rec my first present frm korkor - a sweet pink len case =D

kk i go slp le 5am le @_@

@edited on 16jul =X hmmm, on my actual day, met xin. jie. yun. joy, weichuan and zhicheng at bugis NYDC for lunch, den meet da jie, da jiefu and wiz kor at airport for dinner (forgotten at where), which moo and tam joined us after that, and 3 of us went to downtown east to chill.

em0o-ling
ChRiStiNe/liNg
22th June 1984
CaNcEriAn
l0vEs t0 sLeeP
wEsT pArT 0f s'p0rE
msn:pandaz84@hotmail.com

to haf tons of $$
a new watch
PSP
DS
ipod nano
maple lvl 120
audi lvl 19
a black colour bag
a full length mirror in my rm
to pass my license
to go more holidays
to decrease my emo-ness